Wet
by Rob Cummins
Well, I had an interesting week, I can tell you that much. I had a week off work. No, not because of Easter. As a mainly Buddhist country they don't celebrate it here in Thailand. However, coincidentally it was Songkran. What is Songkran ? Read on ...
Songkran is basically the Thai new year. They are now in year 2547, which is kind of crap when you think about it. I'm sure that by the time we're in 2547 we'll have jetpacks and 3D televisions and flying cars. None of that here, but I digress.
Songkran is also a 'water festival', coming as it does at the start of the really hot season (though I'm not sure how anyone can tell the difference). So basically, back in the day, you would take some water and dribble it down the shoulders of the Buddha statue at your nearest temple, or in your home. You would also take a bit of water and wash your parent's hands, to honor them. And that was it.
This evolved slightly, so people would start to pour water over the shoulders of friends as well as family, and then all of the people in your town or village. This has evolved and evolved. Remember what I said about Thais enjoying games ?
Today, Song Kran is a nation wide three day water fight.
However, falling as it did this year on Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday, most people added Monday and Friday as well, making it a five day water fight, all over Thailand.
I kid you not, I have never seen anything like it. Armed with anything from buckets and hoses to water pistols and balloons, there are just running water battles all over the streets for five days. From random snipers, to wandering gangs, to drivebys from pickups with ten people and a tub of water in the back. I saw motorcycles having rolling encounters with people in taxis. I saw ambushes, feints, flanking manouvers and more. It was truly insane.
To go down to the local shops I had to wear swimming shorts, an old T-shirt and flip-flops. So business as usual there. But I also had to put my money in a plastic bag, and arm myself with bottles or balloons of water. Five days of this.
The main day was Tuesday, so being the idiot that I am, I decided to go down to Khao San Road, which is kind of the epicenter of the fighting. My taxi couldn't get within five blocks of the place. So I got out and walked.
Now, just off Khao San Road there was an extended part of the festival, taking place just on that day. It involved more water, but mainly Thais mixing in powder, either chalk dust or talcum powder, to make a kind of paste / mud. This mud is then smeared on each other's faces to say " Hey there ! Good luck in the new year, pal. " as opposed to doing so verbally, which seems a lot simpler.
I was the only non-Thai in the area.
As I was clean when I got out of the cab, I really stood out. A tall, clean (ish), dry, white man. It took about five minutes for anone to approach me, I guess that being clean no one was sure if I was up for it or not. Then someone came and rubbed a handful of mud down my cheek.
After that it was on for young and old. I got hit more than anyone, I saw people beelining through the crowds to come and smear me with mud. And everyone here is fascinated with my beard. About half the people took the chance to give my goatee a tug while they were at it. It took me about twenty minutes to walk one block.
So I did about three blocks of this, and then bought the biggest waterpistol I could find in order to fight back. The thing had a pump so you could build up pressure, and then shoot with amazing force and accuracy. HAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa hahahahahahahahahaha !
I got to the main road where it was even more packed, but more centered on water. Not five seconds went by that someone wasn't hitting me with water. The best people were the kids, who really get into it and love it when you over-react to being shot, and the ladyboys who like to shriek and flap around.
It was really fun, you have all of these short moments with people. You kind of look them in the eye and see if they're game. If they're unarmed or look away, you tend to leave them alone (sometimes). If not, it's on like the Wild West. So I spent the afternoon drinking beer, shooting people, running around and giggling like a little girl.
Then I as the sun was going down I escaped, but was covered in mud again on my way out of the area. No sane taxi driver would pick up such a wet, filthy and sorry figure. So I walked over to this guy's house where I was going to have dinner. He's a friend of a friend who I had only met once before, and never been to his house. He seemed surprised at the amount of mud I brought over with me.
Love, Rob "Still Washing Mud Out of My Ears" Cummins aka John "Finally, A Good Exchuse For Being Dirty" Boy